All it takes is 30 seconds
by Acidbuk
Summary: Parody one shot, I was bored and its too damn hot to work on serious projects the heat melts Acid's brains so I give you this. Taya and Yugi go on a date. Corrected mistakes


**Author**: Acidbuk (me)

**Title**: All it takes is 30 seconds

**Summary**: I was bored and didn't feel like working on my serious projects. This is a parody meaning humour and OOCness, Fanboy's (and girls) you have been fairly warned.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing, I make no money from this, simple and neat. Rated PG-13 or whatever the heck it is now cos' of drinking and smoking and some funny things that little kids shouldn't read about.

(000)

The bar was virtually empty as most bars are at 3am in the morning, the sky was still dark out but you could see that the sun would rise very soon the first rays of early morning light starting to turn the sky an slight blue. The bar man had long since gone to bed leaving the four trustworthy customers alone. They were regulars here and despite the fact they could get away with ripping him off they never did. Never would, for Yugi Motto, Joey Wheeler, Duke Devlin and Tristan (does he have a last name? –Ed) this was a regular occurrence. Joey took a swig of the bottled beer and looked at his cards but these were not duel monster cards these were playing cards and the game was poker, worst of all, Tristan was beating him, Duke AND Yugi. – It was scary, the guy was like a poker god or something

"Cheating bastard", Joey muttered under his breath as he looked at Tristan's stash of money. He had won three games in a row, he had to be cheating, Joey shook his head and took a drag of his cigarette the end flaring red briefly as smoke filled the air around there table

"So how'd it go last night Yu'g" Joey said, cigarette still handing from the corner of his mouth.

(I'm not exactly sure how you write "Yu'g" or "Yug", I improvised –Ed)

"How do you mean Joey?" Yugi asked or more Yami asked - Yugi sucked at poker.

"With Taya…" Joey Began.

"…Your hot date last night" Tristan finished.

"A Gentleman never tells", Yugi replied trying to avoid the topic.

"We're your mates…" Tristan started

"…She expects you to tell…" Joey added.

"Your mates", Duke Finished having remained silent until now.

"That's…creepy", Yugi noted at the trio finishing off each others sentences

"Indeed" the three said in unison

"So, spill the beans", Joey said with a wink taking a swig of beer for the bottle.

"Yeah you and Taya have been dating seriously what? 3 months now" Tristan added.

"Did you and her do the dirty deed last night or not?" Duke asked not bothering to beat around the bush like the other two.

"Well its kind of embarrassing", Yugi said scratching the back of his head trying to think of a way out of this.

"Come on man, you can tell us, we're your mates" Joey said; "Tell Uncle Joey all about it"

"Would you be the Uncle no one talks about? Every family has one" Tristan quickly shot out.

"Shut up! Or you don't get to date my sister" Joey snapped back.

Tristan quickly kept quiet and Yugi began his story.

(000)

Yugi or more Yami (ok I'm just gonna call him Yugi from now on its easier that way damn 2 people in one body /grumble/ – Ed) and Taya walked hand in hand. Their date had gone well so far, they had seen the latest Dragon ball Z movie that actually contained some action scenes. Unlike the last one which was an hour and half of the main villain powering up and glowing followed by the cast looking shocked and more glowing and the cast looking even more shocked, you get the idea.

Dinner had been nice too, the Lobster and other shellfish platter was lovely but to Yugi it was all about the company Taya was dressed in a rather fetching white blouse and pink skirt and Yugi in his usual attire. (Does he own any other clothes…I wonder? - Ed) this of course was nothing unusual that bit came when their date finally ended. Yugi and Taya kissed at her door as they always did at the end of their dates, but what shocked Yugi more than anything is when Taya invited him inside making it clear in no uncertain terms what they'd be doing tonight.

"Take me Yugi, but be gentle"; she said shyly blushing deeply.

(00)

"Take me Yugi?" Joey interrupted in his best girlie voice.

"Shut up!" Both Duke and Tristan said in unison as they gave Joey a smack about the head from each side.

"As I was saying…" Yugi continued.

(000)

Yugi and Taya entered the apartment, kissing wildly and with abandon there hands roaming over each others bodies they hadn't even got to the bed or Taya's room for that matter when they started to undress each other. First it was Yugi's shirt, then Taya's skirt, then Yugi's trousers, then Taya's blouse, then Yugi's underwear, then "Oh my Yugi" followed by "Oh my Taya" as her bra was removed followed by her panties.

Needless to say there was a trail of clothing all the way from the front door all the way to Taya's room and subsequently the bed there in.

"Oh Yugi, how I've longed for this moment", Taya whispered blushing

"Me too Taya", Yugi replied

(If your aroused by this please go die, in a ditch while wild beavers piss on your face, really! – Ed)

"Be gentle", Taya said once again turning redder than a Red Ferrari.

"I will", he said nodding as he pushed inside her.

All of 30 second later, Yugi ejaculated.

Taya looked disappointed, Yugi looked about as embarrassed as a church official caught masturbating.

(000)

"30 seconds?" Joey said, his cigarette falling from his mouth and onto the table as he looked at Yugi with complete shock, Tristan and Duke were barely containing there laughter.

"Give me a break! I haven't been with a woman in 5000 years!" Yugi shot out in his defence.

Tristan and Duke burst in to tears of laughter and fell of their chairs literally rolling on the floor laughing their arses off at their poor sexually challenged friend. "He may be king of games but he isn't king of the bedroom that's for sure" they managed to say between fits of laughter.

"Don't you self-service to build up y'know stamina?" Joey said trying his best to be a friend and not bust into laughter like Duke and Tristan even if he desperately wanted to.

Yugi simply looked confused.

"Y'know, punch the clown" Joey said.

"Bash the bishop", said Tristan still laughing

"Choke the chicken", said Duke

"Beat the meat", said Joey

A string of masturbation euphoniums came from the three guys each in turn, a look of understanding finally coming across Yugi's face when they reached nine or ten.

"You mean blow my own Trumpet?" Yugi asked.

This time even Joey couldn't hold back the laughter as the three men rolled about on the bars wooden floor laughing long into the night.

End 

**Authors notes: **err…I have nothing to say, I blame this squarely on whom ever said Yugi's transformation into Yami was like a 30 second puberty, I've forgotten your name but you know who you are. – Corrected some of the more GLARING mistakes.


End file.
